There’s a moment every couple dreads; that heavy, sinking feeling when you look at the person you love and realize something has gone terribly wrong. Maybe it was a fight that cut too deep. Maybe it was months of silence, of growing apart, of feeling like strangers sharing a bed. Whatever brought you here, I want you to know one thing before we go any further: the fact that you’re searching for how to save a relationship tells me you still care. And that caring? That’s the most powerful tool you have.
Relationships break down every single day. But they also get fixed every single day, by real people who feel exactly the way you feel right now. Hopeless. Hurt. Confused. But willing. And willingness, combined with the right guidance, can turn even the most painful situation around.
In this article, I’m going to walk you through 20 proven strategies to help you know how to fix a broken relationship, whether it’s a romantic partnership, a marriage, or even a long-term commitment that’s lost its way. These aren’t theoretical ideas pulled from textbooks. These are real, actionable steps drawn from what actually works when love is struggling to survive.
So take a breath. You’re in the right place.
Why Relationships Fail in the First Place
Before we talk about how to save a relationship, it helps to understand why relationships break down. Most people assume it’s always something dramatic, cheating, a massive argument, a catastrophic event. But the truth is, most relationships don’t collapse overnight. They crumble slowly, quietly, through a buildup of small, unaddressed problems.
Common reasons relationships fall apart include:
1. Poor communication:
Conversations that never happen, feelings that never get expressed, and questions that never get asked. Over time, this emotional silence creates a canyon between two people who once felt inseparable.
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2. Lack of effort
Relationships require consistent investment. When both partners stop putting in the work, the connection fades. It’s like a garden that nobody waters: eventually, everything in it dies.
3. Unresolved conflicts
Every couple fights. That’s normal and healthy. But when fights are never properly resolved, they stack up like bricks in a wall, until one day you look across at your partner and all you see is a barrier.
4. Loss of identity
When people lose themselves in a relationship, resentment quietly builds. You start to feel suffocated, trapped, invisible. And that feeling poisons everything.
Understanding the root cause of your specific situation is the first step toward fixing a broken relationship. You can’t treat a wound you refuse to look at.
Related: 15 Proven Ways to Deal with Relationship Anxiety
The Hard Truth: Can a Broken Relationship Be Fixed?
Before we dive into the strategies, let’s address the question that’s probably burning in your mind: Can a broken relationship be fixed? The honest answer is, it depends.
A broken relationship can absolutely be fixed if both partners are willing to do the work. Willingness is the keyword here. It takes two people choosing each other, again and again, even when it’s uncomfortable, even when it hurts. Even when giving up feels easier than holding on.
But there are also situations where saving a relationship isn’t the healthiest choice. If there’s ongoing emotional or physical abuse, repeated betrayal without genuine remorse, or a fundamental incompatibility that no amount of effort can bridge, walking away might actually be the bravest and healthiest decision you can make.
So before you invest everything into trying to save a failing relationship, ask yourself honestly: is this relationship worth saving? Not out of fear, guilt, or obligation, but out of genuine love and a shared desire to grow together. If the answer is yes, then keep reading. The road ahead is challenging, but it’s absolutely walkable.
20 Proven Strategies to Save Your Relationship
Strategy 1: Have the Conversation You’ve Been Avoiding
If you want to know how to save a relationship, this is where it starts, with the uncomfortable conversation you’ve been putting off for weeks, months, or even years. The one that makes your stomach twist. The one you keep telling yourself you’ll have “when the time is right.”
The time is right now.
You cannot fix a broken relationship by pretending the cracks aren’t there. Sit down together. No phones. No distractions. And say out loud what you’ve been holding inside. Use “I feel” statements. Say “I feel hurt when…” or “I feel disconnected because…” This isn’t about pointing fingers. It’s about opening a door that’s been locked shut.
Having good communication won’t fix everything on its own. But it starts the healing.
Strategy 2: Take Full Accountability for Your Part
Here’s something nobody wants to hear: in almost every failing relationship, both partners have contributed to the breakdown. It’s rarely a one-sided story.
One of the most powerful relationship recovery tips is letting go of the victim mentality. Stop asking “What did they do wrong?” and start asking “What did I contribute to this?” Maybe you were emotionally unavailable. Maybe you were too critical. Maybe you took your partner for granted.
Owning your mistakes doesn’t mean excusing theirs. It means showing your partner that you’re serious about change. And that seriousness is what makes people believe things can actually get better.
Strategy 3: Listen – Really Listen – To Your Partner
When we’re hurt, we listen to respond, not to understand. We’re already crafting our rebuttal before the other person finishes their sentence. This is one of the fastest ways to destroy any chance of saving a relationship that’s falling apart.
Real listening means:
Putting down everything and giving your full attention. Letting your partner finish without interrupting. Reflecting on what they said to show you understood. Resisting the urge to defend yourself immediately.
This doesn’t mean you agree with everything they say. It means you’re telling them: “Your feelings matter to me. You matter to me.” And in a broken relationship, that message can be revolutionary.
Strategy 4: Rebuild Trust One Small Action at a Time
If trust has been damaged, whether through dishonesty, emotional neglect, or betrayal, rebuilding it is one of the hardest parts of trying to figure out how to fix a broken relationship. Trust isn’t rebuilt through grand gestures or promises. It’s rebuilt through consistency.
Show up when you say you will. Follow through on small commitments. Be transparent without being asked. Over weeks and months, these tiny, reliable actions stack up into something your partner can believe in again.
Think of trust like a bridge. You don’t rebuild it with one giant plank. You rebuild it one board at a time, until it’s strong enough to walk on again.
Strategy 5: Stop Keeping Score
Relationships aren’t a competition. But when things go wrong, so many couples start tracking every mistake, every slight, every time the other person falls short. “Well, YOU did this last Tuesday, so why should I…”
This scorekeeping mentality is poison. It makes genuine forgiveness impossible and keeps both partners stuck in a cycle of resentment.
If you truly want to save a failing relationship, you have to make a conscious decision to stop tallying. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. It means choosing not to weaponize the past against each other anymore.
Strategy 6: Invest in Quality Time Together
When relationships start falling apart, couples often respond by spending less time together. It feels safer to stay in your own corner. But distance, emotional and physical, only accelerates the decay.
One of the best relationship recovery tips is deliberately scheduling time together. Not just being in the same room scrolling your phones. Real, intentional time. Cook a meal together. Take a walk. Revisit a place that was meaningful to you as a couple. Recreate your first date.
These moments remind you both why you chose each other in the first place. And that memory matters more than you think.
Strategy 7: Rediscover Each Other
When you’ve been together for a while, especially during a rough patch, it’s easy to feel like you know everything about your partner. But people change constantly. The person you fell in love with has evolved, and so have you.
Ask them questions you’ve never asked before. What are they dreaming about right now? What’s been weighing on them lately? What do they wish were different in their life?
Approach your partner with curiosity, not assumptions. You might be surprised by the stranger you find, in the best possible way.
Strategy 8: Address the Steps to Save Your Marriage (or Relationship) Together
Whether you’re married or in a long-term partnership, the steps to save your marriage require both of you to walk in the same direction. This isn’t a solo mission. Sit down together and create a plan:
What needs to change? What boundaries need to be set and what habits need to be broken?
Having a shared roadmap gives you both something concrete to work toward. It transforms a vague hope of “things getting better” into an actionable plan with real steps.
Strategy 9: Seek Professional Help Without Shame
There is absolutely no shame in seeing a couple’s therapist. In fact, one of the smartest things you can do when you’re trying to figure out how to save a relationship is bring in a trained professional.
A good therapist doesn’t take sides. They help you both communicate more effectively, identify patterns you can’t see on your own, and work through issues that feel too tangled to untangle alone.
Think of therapy not as a last resort, but as one of the most powerful tools available. The couples who succeed at saving broken relationships often credit professional guidance as a turning point.
Strategy 10: How to Rebuild a Relationship After a Fight
Almost every couple has experienced a fight so bad that it felt like the end. Words were said that can’t be unsaid. Doors were slammed. Silence stretched on for days or weeks. If you’re wondering how to rebuild a relationship after a fight, here’s what actually works:
First, let the emotions settle. Don’t try to fix things in the heat of the moment.
Second, be the one to reach out first, not out of weakness, but out of love. Someone has to break the silence.
Third, apologize for your part. Not a conditional apology (“I’m sorry, but…”). A genuine one.
Fourth, have a calm, honest conversation about what triggered the fight and how you can handle it differently next time.
Fighting isn’t the end of a relationship. How you recover from it is what defines whether your love survives.
Strategy 11: Bring Back Physical Affection
When emotional distance creeps in, physical affection is often the first thing to disappear. A kiss goodbye becomes a nod. A hug becomes a pat on the back. Cuddling becomes sleeping on opposite sides of the bed.
Physical touch is one of the most underrated ways to fix a broken relationship. Hold hands. Kiss for no reason. Hug like you mean it. These small physical gestures release oxytocin, the bonding hormone, and remind your nervous system that this person is safe, wanted, and loved.
You don’t need passion every single day. But you do need touch.
Strategy 12: Forgive Yourself Too
Most conversations about saving relationships focus entirely on forgiving your partner. But here’s something crucial that gets overlooked: you need to forgive yourself, too.
If you contributed to the breakdown, and chances are you did, carrying guilt and self-blame will only hold you back from showing up as the best version of yourself. Release the guilt. Learn from it. And use that energy to move forward, not backward.
Strategy 13: Rebuild Your Individual Identities
One reason relationships crumble is when two people lose themselves entirely in each other. When you’re trying to repair relationship damage, part of the healing involves rediscovering who you are outside of your partnership.
Pursue your own hobbies. Spend time with your own friends. Set personal goals. A relationship thrives when two whole, fulfilled people come together, not two people who only exist in the context of each other.
Strategy 14: Communicate Your Love Languages
If your partner feels unloved despite your best efforts, there’s a good chance you’re speaking different love languages. One of you might show love through acts of service, while the other needs words of affirmation to feel secure.
Understanding and actively practicing each other’s love languages is one of the most effective relationship recovery tips out there. It’s not about grand romantic gestures. It’s about learning the specific ways your partner feels loved, and making those ways a daily practice.
When a relationship feels broken, it often lacks a sense of forward momentum. You’re both stuck in the pain of the present, with no shared vision for the future.
Start dreaming together again. Plan a trip. Talk about where you want to be in five years. Discuss what kind of life you want to build. Shared goals create a reason to fight for the relationship, not just against each other, but alongside each other.
Strategy 16: Practice Patience With the Process
If you’re trying to figure out how to save a relationship that’s falling apart, you need to understand one fundamental truth: healing takes time. It’s not linear. There will be good days and terrible days: progress and setbacks.
Don’t measure success by whether today was a perfect day. Measure it by whether you’re both still showing up, still trying, still choosing each other despite the mess.
Strategy 17: Never Issue Ultimatums Out of Anger
“If you don’t change, I’m leaving.” Said in the heat of an argument, ultimatums rarely lead to genuine change. They lead to fear, resentment, and a relationship built on pressure rather than love.
If you genuinely feel the relationship can’t continue without specific changes, have that conversation calmly and privately, not during a fight. Express your needs clearly and with compassion. Give your partner time and space to reflect and respond.
Ultimatums issued with love and clarity can be healthy. Ultimatums hurled in anger are almost always destructive.
Strategy 18: Celebrate Small Wins
When you’re deep in the process of repairing relationship damage, it’s easy to focus only on what’s still broken. But healing isn’t just about fixing what’s wrong. It’s also about noticing what’s right.
Did you have a genuinely good conversation today? Celebrate it. Did you resolve a disagreement without raising your voice? That’s huge. Did you look at each other and smile for the first time in weeks? Hold onto that moment.
Small wins build momentum. And momentum is what carries you through the hard days.
Strategy 19: When Is a Relationship Worth Saving?
Sometimes, in the middle of all this work, you need to pause and honestly ask yourself: when is a relationship worth saving? This is not a question born from giving up, it’s a question born from self-awareness.
A relationship is worth saving when both partners genuinely want to repair it. When the love is still there beneath the hurt. When neither person is being harmed, and when both people are willing to grow and change.
A relationship might not be worth saving when there’s a pattern of abuse, when one partner has completely checked out, or when staying together would mean sacrificing your mental and emotional health. Knowing when to let go is just as important as knowing how to hold on.
Strategy 20: Never Stop Choosing Each Other
At the end of the day, the single most important thing that determines whether you know how to save a relationship is a simple, daily choice: to keep choosing each other.
Not because it’s easy. Not because it’s always fun. But because the person you love, the real, flawed, beautiful, complicated person, is worth fighting for.
Love isn’t just a feeling. It’s a decision you make every single morning when you wake up. And if you keep making that decision, even on the hardest days, your relationship has every chance of not just surviving, but becoming stronger than it ever was before.
When to Walk Away: The Final Honest Truth
I want to end this article on a note of honesty, because I think you deserve it.
Not every broken relationship can or should be saved. Sometimes, the healthiest and bravest thing you can do is walk away, not out of weakness, but out of self-respect and genuine care for both people involved.
If you’ve tried everything, the conversations, the therapy, the effort, the patience, and nothing has changed, it might be time to accept that this particular love has run its course. And that’s okay. It doesn’t erase the love that existed or make you a failure. It simply means that sometimes, the greatest act of love is knowing when to let go.
But if you’re not there yet, if there’s still a flicker of something worth protecting, then go back to the top of this article. Pick one strategy. Start today. Not tomorrow, not next week. Today.
Because the relationship you’re desperately trying to save might just be the most meaningful thing you ever fought for.
Recommended: How to Get Over a Breakup – Complete Recovery Guide & Timeline
Conclusion
Knowing how to save a relationship is not about finding a magic formula or a quick fix. It’s about showing up – messy, imperfect, and fully human, and choosing love even when it’s hard. The 20 strategies in this guide aren’t meant to be done all at once. Pick the ones that resonate with your situation. Take it one step at a time.
If you’re trying to figure out how to fix a broken relationship, remember this: the fact that you’re here, reading every word, means the love isn’t gone. It’s just buried. And buried things can be uncovered, with patience, with effort, and with two hearts that refuse to give up on each other.
You’ve got this. One day at a time.
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